Wow, today is just such a beautiful day. I am so very excited just a few more days until I get a much needed vaction. Hey and I am actually looking forward to spending time with my family, I love my family more than anything but when you share one hotel room you can get a little too close, especially when your whole family SNORES. I cant sleep when they start snoring, so usually when we go on a family vacation I only get sleep on the drive to where we're going and the drive back home. I am looking forward to going to the clubs on Pleasure Island at Disney's Market Place. Of course Hayden cant get into the clubs for people over a 19 so we will most likely go to the younger clubs which is okay with me. I am also looking forward to the new Pirates of the Carribean movie coming out and the ride being updated. Oh I just cant wait! Plus I am going to Typhoon Lagoon which is the world's best water park. Anyways most of all today is a great day because I only have two more days after this before classes are over. I have kept all A's in my classes and now I only have to get through the next two days and then my two exams on Monday, oh and I have a mid-term for my on-line class tomorrow but it wont be too hard, its Survey of Computers, or something like that. Things couldnt be better right now, I am not nearly as stressed out as I thought I would be with every thing that is comming up. I am just thankful that God has cleared my mind and thoughts of all the things that were worrying me over the past couple of months and has given me the ability to over come one of my greatest fears- the fear of letting go and moving on. There were as I am quite certain a few things that I was not ready to let go of but over the past few days I have become more confident in myself and my ability to face my fears. So I am doing great and I am not going to let my fears hold me back any longer. I have to give credit where it is due. God has done the most in my life to help me over come the fears that were holding me back and my dad. My dad has helped me so much, there was one particular aspect of my life that has seemed quite empty and naturally I was affraid of letting go of the one person that I thought had filled that void, but that was just causing me more stress and annoyance than it could ever be worth. My dad and I usually sit down and just talk and most of the time over the past couple of weeks or the past two months almost he has been helping me to see that the thing/s that I was stressing over was pointless, that all the stressing in the world was not going to change how the situation (now in the past) turned out. He's right, it was pointless, all the stressing because God is there for me to take my problems to and if I trust him he will take care of them. So now there is no need for me to run away from it any more I am prepared to meet the problem head on when the time comes that we will meet again. I am not backing down and letting that fear take hold again. God is my strength, my sheild, my stronghold, and sovereign over my life and I am not going to allow anything/anyone question that. So this is the last blog that will be dealing with the stress from my past. Each day is a new start and I can learn from the past without dwelling on it, trying to change it, or allowing the fear of it take hold of me again. As my dad would say "If its not going to be a problem in five to ten years from now, then its not a problem now!" See I do listen to what my parents have to say, well at least every now and then. I hope that everyone has as great of a day as what I am having. I hope that God will work in everyone's life as he has mine.

I am having a rather interesting day. When I woke up this morning I woke up to the strangest dream ever. It really made me think though about some things that I had been avoiding, about some people I had been avoiding thinking about, and about a part of my life that seems rather empty right now. I am not sure what the dream was exactly and I hate when that happens, but I do remember that it stirred some memories and thoughts that I had stored away in hopes that I would not cross again for some time. Lets just say I still think about the memories I guess and about the person and about a few other things, but I know that God has been guiding me because with each day the pain subsides a little more. In fact its been a while since the last time I really was hurting a lot and thats a good thing and I have to say that I am glad that the pain is going away. At one time I told my best friend that if falling in love meant that I was going to hurt like that more than just the one time maybe I didnt want to fall in love. I see though now just how wrong I was, I mean it does hurt every now and then, sometimes more than other times, but its worth it, its worth all of the great memories. What ever the dream may have been it was one that really threw me, but it was I guess more of a wake up call (no pun intended!) than anything. I have to say though it must have been some dream to wake me up because I havent had hardly any sleep in the past couple of weeks because of all the studying I have been doing plus I dont ever get to see my dad with him in classes from 5-10 and then working in the shop when hes not in his Bar exam class. So I get up early and stay up late and with my insane mother (I guess shes really not insane but anyways) having Chad and I cleaning the house at an insane rate there is really no time for me to sleep at all. Thankfully I only have a week left of classes and then I have two finals so hopefully this wont last too much longer. Plus I get to go to Florida with my best friend in two weeks, which I am really looking forward to that. My dad told me today that he up-graded our hotel to the wilderness lodge, which means that we will have an awesome pool, be very close to the Magic Kingdom, and have boats that we can rent to ride around on in the huge lake. So I am looking forward to the end of classes because that means sleep and DISNEY. I cant help it I am so excited.

Today is going to be a great day. I can tell that God is really working on helping me through each day. Today is bright and beautiful. The sun is shining the wind is blowing and my brother and I are getting along. In fact as I sit here in my computer class my brother is in here with me. At first he was sort of nervous about sitting in on a class full of college students but my professor asked him if he would stay and so he did rather than going down stairs in Weir like he had originally planned. My dad informed me this morning that he up graded our hotel at Disney for our summer vaction. So that is part of why today is such a great day. Also it helps to have alot of caffine running through your veins. So while I am feeling great, while I am allowing God to work in my life (which is something that I dont want to change), and while the days are beautiful, I just want to say good morning.

As I looked outside this morning I found a challenging day ahead, I was once again about to step on campus. I know that may seem to be a stupid statement, but its a true statement. Every day I pass by people who are being pursued just like me by Satan. So to start the morning off right I said a prayer before class. I prayed that God would help me to be strong against the temptations of today, to be strong and control my thoughts my actions and my words. Its so difficult for me to go to class every day, being surrounded by all the foul langauge, the foul jestures, and everything else that can be seen on campus, and not find myself mindlessly following along with what society thinks is right. People say that God works in mysterious ways and they are right, but I have come to the conclussion that Satan does not work in mysterious ways he works right out there in the open and yet he still fools us, students, everyone. Its so easy for me to sit back and see what others are doing wrong and then tell God 'thank you for not making me that way' but what that does is makes me just the way Satan wants me to be. Satan wants me to tell God that, but the thing he doesnt want me to see is that I am doing wrong by even thinking that. So as I prepared for class today and even as I am sitting here writting this I am praying that God will help me to stay humble and to see that just as everyone else around me I am not perfect. I may not smoke, drink, use foul language or jestures, but I am still not perfect and the more I try to act like I am the more imperfect I become. I pray that I will allow God to be sovereign over my life, over my thoughts, my actions, and most of all over my tongue. I know that God will be there for me today as I make my way against the crowd, trying to be of God not of the world. I know this because he always has been there for me and while I see that now I havent always seen that. Now I am aware of his presence and all I have to do is let him into my life. So as I walk out into the crowd on campus and every other place I may go today I pray that God strengthens and Guides me to fight for him and not for the world.

Aloha... oh how I miss hearing that when ever I went any where. Right now it seems that I am missing being in Hawaii GREATLY, after all I have spent the last two summers in Hawaii for at least seven weeks at a time. I have to say though God has really worked in my life over the past year. And for those of you who dont know I will be moving to Hawaii when I graduate from law school... and I am dead serious you just wait and see... haha. Anyways as I look back to my experiences since this time last year I can see just how God has worked in my life. First this time last year I had finally graduated and I felt great I was living at home full time and was at this precise moment one year ago, sitting in a orientation thing at ole miss. At that point it would only be a matter of days before we headed off for another summer adventure. In fact we were celebrating a swift and speedy recovery to for the most part full strength in both of my knees after the knee surgeries that I had had in the June and January previous to our summer trip. God had blessed my life greatly. He had given me the strength to go through some trying times during my surgeries and also had given me the strength to not give up hope on days that my recovery seemed slow and even impossible. I thank God every day for the love and support that my family presented me with during those times. Then while my family and I were in Hawaii my mother was able to spend some much needed time with her half sister, who many people do not know of, but Aunt Mary is one of the last relatives that my mother has. Also while we were there my dad was working on one his last two semesters in law school and at one point we began to look for houses within good school districts because my dad had set us down and at the end of a few hours of hard deliberation we had made the decision to move to Hawaii after my dad graduated from law school. A few days and many prayers later we made the decision that because my brother was about to start high school that we would for his sake stay in Oxford so that he could finish high school with the kids he had grown up with. That will not stop us though from moving to Hawaii because I have no doubt that the day my brother graduates my dad will have found a house in Hawaii and we will be celebrating his graduation that day in our new home. God has worked in amazing ways in our lives and especially mine lately or at least over the past year I can see more clearly. As soon as classes started this fall we had a series of devestating hurricanes hit the U.S. 'Katrina' and 'Rita' were the two with the most devestating destruction to the Gulf Coast. In September I found out just how bad the damage was and from what I understand still is. I had been going through some hard times at that point in my life but God showed me that weekend just how small my worries were compared to those who were living in the destruction. I found myself upset and crying not for myself that weekend but for the people who were having to face these horiffic problems. From there I made a new friend that weekend and he changed my life from that point on. We continued to remain good friends and even through the hardest times in my life he was there for me, until he wasnt. I dont know exactly what happened, well I do and I dont but I have learned some things from it. Life is insane and I some times wonder if I had done some things different would the trials I faced at the end of the spring summester have turned out different. But now after a month and nearly a half, I realize that things happen and times go on but what happens in the past cannot be changed merely learned from. And for the first time since the last time I heard from my friend, yes he is still my friend but I dont know if I am still his friend, I have learned that I cannot spend my time worrying about issues there, they are done and over with and one day maybe we can be good friends again but until that day I have to find my own way. I found a quote that describes what I have seen and been through this summer so far ' I am not affraid of tomorrow because I saw yesterday and God was there.' I know he is there and I know that he will protect and watch over me and those who are and are not close to me. I thank God for all that he has given me, for the good and bad times and the learning and understanding that comes from those times, and also for my friends and family no matter the directions our relationships went in I know that they will always be there for me and have a special place in my heart for them. Life is too short to spend time worrying about ' what could be, what might be, what could have, would have, or should have been' (or at least thats what Ms. Pat tells the women every Wednesday night in class and shes right). So I just want to take the time to thank every one that has made this past year an experience of learning and evolving in to the woman that God wants me to be. I also want to thank God for all that he has done for me. I dont believe that falling in love is a risk any more I believe that it is the learning experience of a life time, and whether you fall in love with a person or with God, its worth it, it may hurt every now and then, but if you know that God is there the pain will subside after a short while. So thank you God for all that you have taught me this year and in my life time so far and I look forward to another 20 years and many years beyond that following you.