So I am sitting here today waiting for my next class to start. Yeah I know waiting on classes is usually a bore, I mean I live just at the end of Rebel Drive pretty much and yet I don’t want to have to walk home again and then walk back to campus. Anyways I cant help but think ‘Why did I take a four o’clock class, I mean my last class was over at two and so I am sitting in Java City just kind of thinking (no jokes!), talking to God (which is something I am trying to do more often), talking to friends online and wondering about where my life is headed. I mean I wrote yesterday about trying to fix the problems that I have been dealing with and yet even though I am trying to just flow with the change and move on and allow God to do what he does so well, I still cant help but think “Where am I going, where does God want me to go?” I know your probably thinking, “Everyone wonders that, its not so uncommon!” But for me I have had no doubt in my mind for the past couple of years as to what road I have been on and where it was taking me, yes that dreaded road that I wrote about yesterday, and now that I am trying to make some changes I feel a little more free but at the same time as if I am just hanging out waiting for God to open a door or two for me. The thing about it is that while I sit here wondering these things I have just downed a large coffee and so the caffeine is kicking in and wow my mind is reeling with all of these thoughts about what I want to do with my life. I know I want to get my Political Science degree and then from there go to Law School, but is that it, am I going to spend half of my life in school, what do I want to do for my minor, what do I want to do after law school, do I want to work in environmental law or international or both? So all of these questions are surrounding my thoughts and then finally I lean back take a breath clear my head and think, “Wow maybe I need to lay off the coffee… I cant even sit still much less quiet my mind.” I know random but I have not had any sugar today and I am hyped up on the coffee and psyched about Sunday’s game and seeing my best friend again tomorrow for the first time in two weeks. So while all these thoughts flow and I begin to dread the up and coming years of school, I finally realize why worry God will take care of it, yesterday was proof enough. I mean God helped me take a much needed step out of my depressing little comfort zone and while its taking some time to get used to I can see a great improvement in the past 24 hours, also God gave me the courage to confront my dad about the problems I have been having and we sat down over lunch talked through them and at the end of our conversation he finally told me that he was glad that I talked to him about it and that he would do his best to help me work through these issues and that through it all we would work on finding me an apartment starting this coming summer. I am thrilled about that, the prospect of having my own apartment is great and it makes me feel better for some reason about the relationship my mother and I can possibly have once I move out permanently (I know odd but when we don’t live under the same roof we quite honestly do so much better). I guess what I am trying to say is that in the past 24 hours though its been tough for me to break these habits and though I know it will take much more than 24 hours to solve these problems and break these habits for good, I feel as if God has been showing me how great it is to be free of the chaotic world I had created. In the past 24 hours I have been praying continuously or I should say just having chats with God throughout the day. Plus I was really getting encouragement and understanding out of our lesson in class last night at church. So even though I know that I am going to have days that are a little more difficult than others I know that God is going to be there working with me for as long as I let him.